Should both partners learn to skipper?

At an absolute minimum, both partners should be able to take control of the boat, recover a person from the water, call for help and get to safety alone. That is not a philosophical position — it is the answer to the question of what happens when the skipper is the one over the side.

The common pattern on cruising yachts is one confident skipper and one partner who handles lines and cooking but has never berthed the boat or planned a passage. It works right up until it does not, and it is a single point of failure on a vessel that may be days from help.

There is a second, less dramatic reason. Couples who both sail tend to keep sailing. Where one partner is permanently crew, they are often the one who quietly stops enjoying it, and the boat gets sold. Schools that run courses for couples will say the same thing.

Practically: both do a crew course, both do a skipper course, and then deliberately alternate roles. Own-boat tuition is particularly good here, because an instructor aboard your own yacht will make the less confident partner do the berthing.